Sidebar: Omar's last night and the crowd mourned.

I'm dreading this one.

Seriously, I'm going to need some seriously upbeat music to trudge through this recap.. hold on a sec..

There we go.

If you see a commercial before that starts, I wonder if it's going to have the guy with the long beard in it. He's been in all the ads lately.

Right.

So Monday at Sidebar was weird. It started off decently, but after seven or so comics the crowd just stopped caring. It wasn't straight out heckling or anything. There was definitely some side conversations as it seemed people were more interested in talking to each other than pay attention to who was up on stage; but that seemed mainly focused in the back alcove.

But even then, it wasn't like they were over whelming the audio, it was just like speaking to a brick wall.

A brick wall that mainly laughed at video game references, comics expressing regret that their jokes weren't going over well that night and little else.

Let's back up a little bit. I'm making the night sound bad, but it wasn't a total wash. I commuted for the first time with other comedians (Joe Greenway and Chris Colletti) and got to talk shop. It's reassuring to hear other people voice the same concerns and dreams as you, makes you feel less insane for wanting to get up in front of a crowd and try to make them laugh.

As we all slowly funneled ourselves onto the stage and then off it to retreat to our compatriots and discuss our feelings on what just transpired; I realized while my anticipation was rising, my fear was not. That was pretty uplifting. I was comfortable on that stage, in front of these people.

I began my set by giving Luke Marshall a shoulder massage while he awkwardly introduced me. Kathy Carson shouted at him to relax and let it happen. The crowd was laughing and I tried to amp it up higher by channeling energy straight into the mass of humanity in front of me.

They weren't buying what I was selling.

I didn't feel it was fake energy.. listening to it, I feel like I sound genuine. By the way, this is excruciating to listen to. I've had to pause four times so far and I'm only two minutes into a four minute recording. And besides my own voice, all that you can hear is silence from the crowd. The only laughs are from the intro and the reference to video games.

Attempts at telling jokes are abandoned about halfway and I tell them about Twitch Plays Pokemon, which they approve of. I then express sadness at Omar Shaukat's impending move to NYC but I think he was outside smoking. (Good luck again, buddy!)

The light is given. Luke Marshall comes to announce the next comic. I remove my shirt.

Pandemonium results.

The people did not want comedy this night. No, they wanted nipples with eyebrows.

So in the end, what did I learn?

Beats me.

Nice farmer's tan, you cracker.

CMF@CVP & Sidebar: The Manic/Depressive world of Open Mic Comedy

It's hard to write a recap of your set when you get home after midnight, so here we go.

Sunday: Color Me Funny's open mic at Charles Village Pub - Towson:

For the last few weeks there has been a decent crowd at CVP, I'm guessing left over from people watching the final games of the football season. This weekend it was just us comics and while I knew most of them, I felt really separate. I wanted to talk to people, but I just couldn't seem to connect with others. It was really awkward.

I tried out a new bit about about my household financial situation which I was uncomfortable doing because it could come off as bragging or possibly bring unwanted attention to myself. For me the funny aspect of it was finding out how well you're doing when everyday you're worried about being one step from sleeping on a curb.

It didn't go over well, until I really started pouring energy into it. Legitimately expressing my confusion and self-loathing at the situation. The comics seem to respond well to it, so that was nice.

Monday: Sidebar open mic - Baltimore:

And then for whatever reason I was OK at Sidebar! I was able to relax and have really great conversations with Valance Michael, Stavros Halkias, Umar Khan, Ryan Nesser, Leeland Clayton and a special shout out to my fellow "Garbage Time Warrior" Chris Hudson! I really felt like a part of the scene and not just some creepy guy standing next to the wall. I got my first "I'm looking forward to your stuff" from Ronald James.. which is the nicest thing some one's ever said to me that wasn't related to me or married to me. Everyone had some great stuff even if there was talker during the majority of the show.

That kind of behavior mystifies me, especially since my behavior most of the time can be compared to a beaten child. Don't call attention to yourself, stay to the side, observe everything quietly and be prepared to run at a seconds notice. But this girl kept talking after being shushed and asked to be quiet numerous times and STILL KEPT TALKING. Eventually Kathy Carson shouted at her to shut up during her set and the entire room broke out in applause. It worked for like, a minute. When she finally left it was in an indignant huff, like we were the ones who were raised in a barn. Amazing.

The financial situation bit out was tried again, and it didn't do so great. I don't think it's worth the potential drama it could bring, so I'm shelving it for now. But I did have a great off the cuff bit about fights inspired by the guy that was with the talker. I also tried out a bit regarding a story about an ex and an Italian restaurant that became a bane to her existance but modified it to involve myself and my wife. It went over really well, but later discussing it with the spouse she didn't like it being attributed to her or the negativeness of the story.

I like the way I told it because it's easily explained. If I have to add in words to explain the relationships of the actual people involved with the situation, that's more time for an audience member to get bored and lose interest. I'll tweek it and see if I can get some mileage out of it.

Big thanks to the Color Me Funny guys, Luke Marshall and Omar Shaukat for running these rooms and giving me a place to express stupid thoughts!